“SHUT UP, IDIOTS!” Image via DC
Alamo Drafthouse, a chain of movie theaters that allows you to order booze and a plate of hot wings to your seat no matter how tense or emotional the film, decided to celebrate the June 2 release of Wonder Woman with an all-female screening at their Austin location. That means that not just the audience, but the projectionists, chefs and theater staff, will all be female or those who identify as such. It sold out immediately, and with good reason—what better way to spend an evening than with Gal Gadot, a vat of rosé and a blissfully bro-free environment?
Men, with their preternatural ability to sense that something might not revolve around them, immediately freaked out. Mind you, the screening was initially intended as a one-off affair, with men having the option to attend literally any other screening at either the Drafthouse or infinite multiplexes around the world. Men make 20 percent more money than women; they perform fewer child care duties and household chores (even when their wives are the family breadwinners). They pay less for pants and haircuts, and they are responsible for dictating our abortion laws. But GOD DAMN IT if they’re going to let a few dozen women celebrate the rare arrival of female superhero protagonist!
No sooner had the theater announced the women-only screening than its Facebook page filled with the lachrymose keens of offended men, screeching wetly about the wretched unfairness of it all. I could quote them here, but reading them raises my blood pressure and I don’t have time for a heart attack today, I have a barbecue to get to later and I’m bringing the portobello caps. You can use your imagination, anyway.
Alamo did not respond by cancelling the event—instead, it added even more screenings at locations around the country. From the Washington Post:
“We are very excited to present select, women-only WONDER WOMAN screenings at Alamo Drafthouse,” Morgan Hendrix, Alamo Drafthouse creative manager said in a statement emailed to The Washington Post. “That providing an experience where women truly reign supreme has incurred the wrath of trolls only serves to deepen our belief that we’re doing something right.”
“As a result, we will be expanding this program across the country and inviting women everywhere to join us as we celebrate this iconic superheroine in our theaters,” the statement added, referring to plans to hold women-only screenings in other states.
The theater did apologize, cheekily, to anyone offended, saying it was “truly, truly, truly sorry sorry.”) But it needn’t have, especially since the screening’s proceeds are going to Planned Parenthood.
Now everyone please shut the hell up and re-watch Jimmy Fallon’s charming interview with Gal Gadot—do feel free to turn the volume up as high as necessary to drown out the male shrieks you might hear out your window.